Making Peace with the Decision to Place a Parent in Memory Care
One of the hardest decisions an adult child may face is the decision to place a parent in a memory care facility – and the decision is made even more difficult when that parent has declared for years, in no uncertain terms, that they never want to go into a “nursing home.”
That was the situation Jennifer Carlin and her three sisters found themselves in when matriarch Clare Carlin no longer could live alone in her cottage in Pine Run Retirement Community’s independent living neighborhood, The Village.
“Everything she did was always on her own timeframe,” Jennifer Carlin said recently. “When she made the move to the cottage at Pine Run, it was absolutely the right time to do it, and she was very happy there.”
Clare Carlin moved into The Village in 2017. Living at Pine Run in her retirement had been her goal since 1976 when she spotted new construction rising from a field on Ferry Road in Doylestown Township. The project that would become Pine Run Retirement Community was located a mere three miles from the Carlins’ farmhouse and 10-acre property on Callowhill Road.
“When Pine Run was being built, she always said that was where she was going to retire,” Jennifer recalled. “She’s a huge fan of Doylestown Hospital, and it was important to her to stay within that community. That was her goal, and so that’s what she did.”
That was how Clare Carlin lived, Jennifer stated. She set goals, charted a course toward them, and worked hard to achieve them. A military wife and mother, she raised six children – Jim, Coleen, Deborah, Keith, Melinda, and Jennifer – mostly on her own while her husband was on active duty, Jennifer said. After her husband, who had been a jet pilot in the U.S. Navy, passed away in 1987, Clare managed the 10-acre property on Callowhill Road on her own for the next 30 years.
When Clare decided to move into The Village, she sold the farmhouse and downsized her furniture and other belongings. She brought many of her favorite things to her Pine Run cottage, including her collection of antique clocks, Jennifer said, adding that Clare lived happily in her cottage in The Village for about three years.
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